EVE-Mag.com

Growing Behind a Digital Mask

Published on 20. Aug, 2008 ... written by ShardowRhino, Tags: Articles

First off I would like to thank Sinder Ohm of Demonic Corp for bringing up a topic asking how people differ in RL from their in game persona. I would also like to thank Arvald of Ninjas N Pirates for his post that further reminded me of something in the recent past. I am writing about this topic because back in May I had a discussion with someone about this subject and how it applies to the real world. Before I forget here is the address to the thread … click!

The idea that people can differ greatly between how they conduct themselves in the real world and in a “virtual” setting has been of interest me for some time. In a way we are all subjects of an experiment, an experiment where the goal is to see how people differ and may or may not change over time.

We all know from experience that there are people out there willing to run their mouth for absolutely no reason other then the fact that they feel safe from reprisal due to anonymity the internet affords them. These people, for various reasons, decide that its completely fine to be a complete tool for no reason other then the fact that no one can put fist to face. since the person is behind a computer monitor, in a room X amount of miles away in an unknown location he is safe while making an ass of himself.

These people are unlikely to act like such tools in real life, again, for various reasons. One possible reason that seems to make the most sense is simply because they would never get away with such things in RL or have the guts to do so. These are likely to be the people to say something under their breath and talk behind the backs of others. They want to make their moronic thoughts and feelings known but want to reduce their risk of taking responsibility for such. Of course the fact that these people don’t have the nerve to say something to another person’s face negates anything they actually have to say. They make up for their lack of spine with a big mouth.

Of course there is really little to be said for such pathetic sacks of flesh. They can run their mouth from their computer, stroke their ego to it but when they go to bed they know, as well as everyone that is witness to their stupidity knows that in RL they wouldn’t dare open their mouth to say a single word that could anger others around them. But enough about the morons that give the internet a bad name.

What this article is about is something more. It’s about what could be another positive of playing games, especially online. We all know what the detractors say about video games, that there’s to much violence, to much sex ,drugs and rock and roll(okay maybe not but they’ll have keep digging for more to attack games over.) Yet we have over the years heard low whispers about the positives that come from playing games. Instead the media and politicians and misguided groups of mothers who should be spending their time making sure their kids aren’t playing the newest Grand Theft Auto game, not by protesting but by paying attention to their children. Instead of working with game makers to create more games that bring out the positive effects of gaming while avoiding some of the imaginary negatives, they do what all forum whiners do best, cry, cry and cry some more all while ignoring the facts.

This article isn’t attempting to cover the various good games can create, instead I’d like to focus on one that is hard to gauge. That is the effects of gaming, particularly within a group with mmos being the biggest and most robust when it comes to interpersonal interactions. This article can apply to any team based game or MMO out there due to the fact that the social fabric is for the most part similar between the majority of games with slight difference due to the actual game itself.

Months ago I was talking to someone that meant a lot to me and I found myself discussing the effects of a particular MMO, www.Planetside.com (not that Soe deserves a plug but the community does) has had on my personality. The effect isn’t exactly what haters of video games would like to hear. Instead it is something that they would brush off if they were to ever come in contact with this article. I haven’t become a blood thirsty killer out to blow up nearby schools or torch innocent kittens or go play a RL game of DOOM at the local mall. People that do that are fucked in the head before they play games but their parent’s probably didn’t care to address that and game haters are looking
for something to destroy a multi billion dollar a year industry(as opposed to going after makers of cocaine).

I have to say that before I started playing PS I had some time in a small time FPS game, “small time” referring to the size of the servers, typically 15 vs 15, there on xian’s Wolfenstein servers things started to change. However it wasn’t until a year of playing PS that I started to notice the real effects the social interaction was having on my personality. I was always the quiet kid, the one that put up with more crap then he should have. The reason was that even if people were being stupid it wasn’t enough to warrant smashing their face in for it. Most people backed down before getting near that point. I used to “want” to say certain things in various situations but I just didn’t have something that would allow me to do so. Other times I didn’t act when I should have, I wanted to but I was to worried about what would happen if I did.

Things started to change, in Planetside I didn’t have to worry about what would happen if I got into an argument with someone. I was almost assured that I would never see them in RL. That anonymity that drives certain people to be obnoxious assholes over nothing can have an effect that isn’t so negative, one that some will actually find desirable. Without having to worry about what happens if tempers flare and having to base my responses on what I thought to be justified, I could say what I felt. I said what I felt because I felt sort of safe in a sense. That led to more problems with other players that are the typical anonymous asshole we tend to run into a lot while online.

This slight element of safety to say what I really thought about a situation or another person that needed to be told off led to experience. In a way this all served as practice, an exercise in letting myself respond the way I “wanted” to in the past in other situations. This practice became experience and just like in games and RL, with experience you become better at what your practicing. What I was practicing was being who I really am. The “Me” that I had restricted over the years fearing that maybe I’ll over react and hurt someone beyond the point I could justify to myself. Be it mentally, emotionally or physically.

Through playing an online game and interacting with people from different areas, different backgrounds and various personality types I was learning to let myself be myself. While there were times where the arguments were nonstop and an assumed daily affair long before logging in, I kind of reveled in the idea of such. I didn’t loathe the idea which my own personal detractors would have liked me to feel. Instead I saw it as a challenge on different levels. One was to keep in mind how little their opinions about me meant, their problems with me were based off of fiction and bruised egos. Another challenge was to stay calm and collected while still being aggressive, some thought they
had pissed me off but when they eventually realized I was relaxed and laughing at them they themselves went ballistic. Then there was the practice of ripping apart an illogical argument against me or my decisions that affected 100+ players who were on the same team as myself.

Those that could not stand me, what I stood for and my methods were digging their own holes. All of their hot air, smack talk and forming of “Anti-Rhino” cliques only made me better over time. Those that sought to silence me so that they could consolidate power and use the other 100+players on our team as nothing more then pawns eventually found themselves marginalized, discredited and for some …forgotten. The smart ones fell in line and learned how to act and accepted it. They realized that to get respect one does not demand it, instead you show it first. Perhaps they were the only child of their family and thought that throwing a tantrum was the way to move up in the world outside of the bubble their parents built around the spoiled one.

Because of the constant practice of being myself in game those that berated certain players and successfully boxed in others for no particular reason were now on the receiving end. Those that were being harassed and forced to be silent less they face a deluge of verbal abuse were finding themselves in a new situation. They were able to relax, talk and play the game and have fun like they used to. While they “wanted” to say and do things against the aggressive players they hadn’t reached the point I had. Through my gaining of experience in being myself and applying it against the hostile
personalities of others, those that were silenced were finding their own ability to speak up and speak out against the aggressive players that kept them down for so long. Once this began to happen the social aspect of the game within our “team” started to change dramatically. It became a lot more relaxed, fun and cooperative. It became a team game as opposed to a dictatorship with a small group wielding all the power.

I soon found that what was happening in game was spilling over into the real world. At various jobs I have had, I encountered people that used their position to bully others around. Some had family ties to the management while others had already established dominance over a group of other workers, some were backed by their friends who worked with them. I soon found myself acting differently, instead of grinding my teeth just waiting for someone to push things to a point where I felt I was justified in responding, I found myself just doing something about it.

Sometimes it was just firing off my own smart remarks in response to someone else’s. At other times it meant moving away from the view of security cameras where the offender was daring me to go, supposedly to fulfill their empty threats of force against me only to find me more then willing to “step outside” as well as taunting them hoping they will have the balls to at least try and make good on their promise. At other times it was merely making sure they were doing their share of the workload instead of sitting around.

Much like those in the MMO that had a problem with me, those in RL had to deal with similar changes to the situation. Those that went around making threats soon found they were the “company bitch”, the laughing stock. The weakest of the group soon found themselves taunting the one that used to control the situation. Once people found that there was someone willing to stick it to the jerk they too started to find their voice and ability to speak out. They too also found that life was a lot better when you can work in peace without worrying about being pushed around by the company asshole. The jerk(s) found themselves reduced to nothing forcing some to leave the company while others
learned to accept the change and fall in line and relax with the rest of the group. A positive outcome for many due to a small change in one person in the group.

Now I don’t suggest that everyone try to go out and mimic the changes I went through, going from someone that keeps it to himself and just puts up with it, to calling out those that want to intimidate everyone into submission. Not everyone needs to work on such, instead some may have to work on controlling their temper. The changes will vary greatly from person to person. The point is that online games, including MMOs are not just breeding grounds for the idiots of the world. People, regardless of the amount of RL social interaction they may have, can find that being part of an online community can have benefits that can significantly alter the way a person approaches life and its various
situations and not just serve as a place to meet others that are into the same games your into. Even a person that is normally considered talkative and outgoing in real life can find something that they need to work on in their life. They could possibly notice they are gaining experience at being more of who they are or need to be while gaming as part of a group.

Now while it may sound like only gamers may be learning to be themselves behind the safety of an online persona, non gamers have always had their own ways of doing the same. Over the years I have talked to different people and there was one girl in particular that found her safety of a persona in a new hair style and hair color. She herself acted the same way initially but she noticed that some people were acting slightly different because of the change in her appearance. This slight change and equally small change in how others acted towards her gave her that safety similar to what we receive when logging in under a screen name into our game of choice.

From that point on that safety allowed her to act more like who she really was all along, she was gaining experience in being herself. Eventually after more time had passed and us discussing the slow changes that assuming the name of StoneRhino in Planetside(ShardowRhino in EVE) had allowed, she started to understand what she was doing with the change to her hair. My persona was online while hers was in RL but yet both had the same effects and the more we understood it the faster the changes came.
The more we looked internally the greater our certainty was that we weren’t changing into someone else, into a false version of ourselves, instead we saw that we were bringing forth the various aspects of our own personalities that for some reason or another were always kept hidden.

Some people may look at online games and think we are all simply wasting time or hiding from life. As crazy as that may sound there are people that believe that and will never change. However that is their problem to deal with, while there are cases of addiction which is obviously a negative effect of gaming on some out there, its not true for everyone that picks up a controller or takes to a keyboard and mouse combo. While people may see us BOOM(!!!) headshotting noobs all day long, blowing stuff up, slaughtering mystical critters wholesale or playing Internetspaceships and never get past the surface appearances, some of us know better. For some, if not most of us are slowly changing for the better.

People that may have always been picked last in gym class and never captain of any team may be learning leadership skills while running a squad, fleet or any other form of player grouping. Those that were always the best at everything they did may find they are a noob and will learn how it is to be at the bottom of the food chain and learn to respect others more. Younger gamers may be finding that paying attention in class pays off even while gaming and that people do talk about what they learned in history class on a normal basis! Female gamers will learn that not every guy is going to be hitting on them and will learn what its like to be “one of the guys” and to be respected for their skill instead of the physical. People from different countries will eventually have an interesting conversation with a gamer from the side of the world and find similarities as well as interesting differences.

The possible, positive changes are many and would be beyond the scope of my article to cover even a fraction of them. However, when you next log into your favorite games, take a second to think about the things you have learned about yourself and about others over the years. Also know that as anti-social some people think gaming is, such thinking is far from the truth.